Intentional Tuesdays
Who's Story Are You Living?
Jul 30, 2019
We each have our own story. Our own truth. It’s our story to write and ours to live. This is what it means to be "authentic". Sadly, most of us spend a significant portion of our time living someone else’s story.
Instead of being the true authors of our story, we allow the critics to influence us and we end up living their story. We become who the people around us want us to be. Their preferences and their expectations become the ink on our pages. At some point it ceases to be our story.
Why do we allow this to happen? Why would we ever surrender our authenticity?
We don't realize it's happening. We do it slowly. A little each day. On top of that, we actually get paid for it.
What do we get in exchange for our authenticity?
Certainty.
From an early age we learn to seek certainty. We long to belong and to be safe so we join groups. Membership has its privileges. It also comes at a cost. Your identity.
Here’s your script. Just ...
Why You Need a Manifesto
Jul 23, 2019
You need to write a manifesto. In the next 250 words I want to convince you that you can, and should, write your personal manifesto.
I know, I know. Manifestos get a bad rap. Following in the footsteps of Karl Marx and Ted Kaczynski isn’t high on anyone’s list. But let me ask you this…who among us doesn’t feel just a little bit crazy?
Another knock on manifestos is they always seem to be really, really long. Hell, even Jerry Maguire’s, The Things We Think and Do Not Say, was 25 pages long. Who’s got that kind of time? Nobody. That’s why I’m proposing a much shorter structure. Exactly seven sentences. They don’t even need to be complete sentences or grammatically correct either. Boom.
Ok, but who wants all that attention? Does anyone really care what I have to say anyway? I don’t have anything worth sharing with the world...I hear you.
But you’re getting ahead of yourself. Your manifesto isn’t for everyone else. At least not initially. In the early ...
Don't Aspire to Excellence
Jul 16, 2019
Excellence isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I spent a significant portion of my life in the pursuit of excellence and I wish I knew then what I know now. Excellence isn’t bad. But there’s something better.
I spent much of my early career in the pursuit of excellence. I was intensely focused on the quality of my work. If it wasn’t perfect, it better be really close and there’d better be a good reason it wasn’t. Results mattered. Nothing else.
That doesn't sound too bad, right? Like I said, excellence isn’t bad. It's just not perfect. Allow me to explain...
Back in the day, I used to play a lot of golf. It was a great way to unwind from the stress of the long hours I was spending in the office. I was a decent golfer. At my best, my handicap got down to about 13. I regularly broke 90 and occasionally shot in the low 80s. Not bad, by most people's standards.
I was pretty good, but I was never going to get better. Why not?
When it came to golf, I was...
Are You Hitting Your Mark?
Jul 09, 2019
How do you measure your effectiveness and impact? If you are like most people, you focus exclusively on the end goal. After all, it’s all about results, right?
But what if your focus on the end objective is actually limiting your results?
Have you ever been bowling? Where is your attention just as you release the ball? Where are you aiming? Your answer to this question will reveal your skill as a bowler. Good bowlers don’t focus on the pins. Good bowlers focus on the aiming arrows on the floor just a few feet in front of them. If the bowler ‘hits their mark’ there’s a good chance the ball will hit the pins in the right spot.
Turns out, it’s easier to roll 10 feet perfectly than it is to roll 60 feet perfectly.
Now, back to the original point. Where is your focus in life? Are you simply aiming for the end result and hoping to roll the perfect strike? What would it look like to have some aiming arrows in everyday life?
A couple of weeks ago I talke...
Why Do You Get Up Each Morning?
Jul 02, 2019
Umm, because I have to?
Sadly, this is probably true for most of us. Take a moment to consider the implications. It means we’d choose to stay in bed all day rather than getting out into world. Now, I don’t think most people really believe this, just the fact that it's our default reaction is cause for concern. We identify more with a sense of obligation than a sense of significance or purpose. Not only is this heartbreaking, it’s killing us.
If you’ve been with me for a while, you know the Blue Zones are five locations where people live longer, healthier lives than anyplace else on the planet. One of the common themes across the blue zones is the elderly have a strong sense of purpose and meaning in their lives. In Okinawa, they call this ikigai. In Costa Rica, it’s plan de vida. Regardless of what you call it, the effects are the same. Studies have shown that people who have a clear goal in life live longer and sharper than those who do not. (p. 282).
Does yo...
You Have to Stick the Landing
Jun 25, 2019
It’s easy to give our full effort and attention to the big things, but it’s the little things that make all the difference.
In gymnastics, the concept of ‘virtuosity’ measures the degree of artistry, or harmony, of the athlete’s movements. Greg Glassman, founder of CrossFit, describes virtuosity as ‘doing common things uncommonly well.’
Virtuosity is attractive. When we see it, we can’t help but be drawn to it. I developed a deep appreciation for virtuosity by watching, of all things, a reality show. So You Think You Can Dance.
The early episodes of each new season featured a range of talent, from the comically bad to breathtakingly beautiful. For me, the best part of the show was comparing the dancers who were in the elite category and the ones who fell just a bit short. What made the difference?
Keep in mind, the people who came up just short are really, really good dancers. Most likely, they are better than anyone that you’ve ever met. If you saw on...
What's Your Superpower?
Jun 18, 2019
I often ask my clients this question. More often than not, I’m met with blank stares. Most people don’t ever think of themselves as having a superpower. Maybe the very idea violates some deep sense of humility. People don’t want to see themselves as unique or special. Isn’t that interesting? Deep down, don’t we all believe that we’re unique and special?
Maybe people’s hesitation to name their superpower is an allergy to being “better than”. Superman was, faster than the speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Heck, his very name was explicitly superior. I hate that guy. Just kidding.
I appreciate the resistance to naming your personal superpower. At the same time, I think there is tremendous value in doing it. I think there is tremendous value in even considering the question…what is my superpower? I mean really thinking about it. In the video portion I’ll explore some of the reasons why I think discovering your superpower is important. For now, le...
Do You Need an Alter Ego?
Jun 11, 2019
Do you wish that you had an alter ego? A version of yourself that is separate and distinct that would allow you to act completely differently than your normal persona? Superman needed Clark Kent, right? And he's not the only one.
Beyoncé has stated publicly that her sensual, aggressive style on stage is actually her alter ego, Sasha Fierce. In "real life", she is nothing like that. According to Todd Herman, author of The Alter Ego Effect, even Martin Luther King Jr. only wore glasses so that he would appear more distinguished. Did Martin Luther King Jr have an alter ego?
One of the most common suggestions for writers is to develop rituals that are only used for writing so as to put you into your “writer’s mind”. I have to admit, ever since I bought my Apple MacBook, I feel more creative. In fact, there is evidence to show that not only do I feel more creative, I AM more creative. The brain is easily manipulated. Another study showed that kids could resist temptatio...
Talk To Your Highest Self
Jun 04, 2019
I once heard the definition of Hell is meeting the version of yourself that you could have been, had you lived up to your full potential. Can you imagine, having all of your bad decisions and missed opportunities right there, staring you in the face? How depressing would that be?
What if you could meet that version of yourself now? Before it’s too late to do anything about it. Maybe you can.
This version of you has a name. The Greeks called it Daimon. It turns out you’ve met your Daimon. For sure you've heard her voice. It probably came in the form of a whisper. A whisper of potential and possibility, almost imperceptible, yet there.
When does your Daimon usually weigh in? Here are a few of the more common situations where you'll hear Daimon’s voice:
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When choosing between doing what is easy and doing what is right.
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When deciding to forgo short-term pleasures in favor of long-term benefits.
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When acting in a manner that is totally authentic...
What's the Sound of Possibility?
May 28, 2019
That’s impossible. It will never work. You’ll lose everything. You can’t do that. Don’t try.
We’ve all heard this voice in our head. Where does it come from? If you were with me last week you know. It’s the voice of your Protector. She’s just doing her thing.
You might be tempted to think it’s the voice of logic and reason. You’d be wrong. Here’s how you can tell. Your voice of logic and reason doesn’t speak in absolutes. Your voice of logic and reason is all about nuance. She’s all about hedging her bets. When she thinks something is a bad idea, she says things like…”the odds of success are pretty low and the risk might not be worth the reward here.” Your voice of logic and reason leaves it up to you to make the final decision.
The Protector doesn’t use wishy-washy language. She uses absolutes and imperatives. She has no other choice. We’re talking life and death here. The Protector only knows one thing. Protection. She sees threats everywhere.
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