Intentional Tuesdays
Are You Struggling Or Are You Stuck?
Sep 10, 2019
Are you struggling or are you stuck? What’s the difference? There is one and it’s a big one. It’s the dating equivalent of “call me tonight” and “yea, sure, call me sometime.” You definitely don’t want to get the signals mixed up.
Let’s get into it.
Last week’s Intentional Tuesday discussed the idea that “negative” emotions, such as sadness and fear, are something we should embrace, not something we should avoid. Since uncomfortable feelings are just the inevitable byproduct of being a human, if we could all get more skillful at working with these types of feelings, the world would be a better place.
This begs a question…
What about the feeling of being “stuck”, which I talk about quite a bit around here. Isn’t that just another feeling that we should embrace as part of the natural ebbs and flows of life? Yes, and no.
There’s nothing wrong with the feeling of being “stuck”. Not inherently. The feeling is a signal. All feelings are signals. Stuckness is a feeling that something is...
Why You Need a Manifesto
Jul 23, 2019
You need to write a manifesto. In the next 250 words I want to convince you that you can, and should, write your personal manifesto.
I know, I know. Manifestos get a bad rap. Following in the footsteps of Karl Marx and Ted Kaczynski isn’t high on anyone’s list. But let me ask you this…who among us doesn’t feel just a little bit crazy?
Another knock on manifestos is they always seem to be really, really long. Hell, even Jerry Maguire’s, The Things We Think and Do Not Say, was 25 pages long. Who’s got that kind of time? Nobody. That’s why I’m proposing a much shorter structure. Exactly seven sentences. They don’t even need to be complete sentences or grammatically correct either. Boom.
Ok, but who wants all that attention? Does anyone really care what I have to say anyway? I don’t have anything worth sharing with the world...I hear you.
But you’re getting ahead of yourself. Your manifesto isn’t for everyone else. At least not initially. In the early ...
Don't Aspire to Excellence
Jul 16, 2019
Excellence isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I spent a significant portion of my life in the pursuit of excellence and I wish I knew then what I know now. Excellence isn’t bad. But there’s something better.
I spent much of my early career in the pursuit of excellence. I was intensely focused on the quality of my work. If it wasn’t perfect, it better be really close and there’d better be a good reason it wasn’t. Results mattered. Nothing else.
That doesn't sound too bad, right? Like I said, excellence isn’t bad. It's just not perfect. Allow me to explain...
Back in the day, I used to play a lot of golf. It was a great way to unwind from the stress of the long hours I was spending in the office. I was a decent golfer. At my best, my handicap got down to about 13. I regularly broke 90 and occasionally shot in the low 80s. Not bad, by most people's standards.
I was pretty good, but I was never going to get better. Why not?
When it came to golf, I was...
Are You Hitting Your Mark?
Jul 09, 2019
How do you measure your effectiveness and impact? If you are like most people, you focus exclusively on the end goal. After all, it’s all about results, right?
But what if your focus on the end objective is actually limiting your results?
Have you ever been bowling? Where is your attention just as you release the ball? Where are you aiming? Your answer to this question will reveal your skill as a bowler. Good bowlers don’t focus on the pins. Good bowlers focus on the aiming arrows on the floor just a few feet in front of them. If the bowler ‘hits their mark’ there’s a good chance the ball will hit the pins in the right spot.
Turns out, it’s easier to roll 10 feet perfectly than it is to roll 60 feet perfectly.
Now, back to the original point. Where is your focus in life? Are you simply aiming for the end result and hoping to roll the perfect strike? What would it look like to have some aiming arrows in everyday life?
A couple of weeks ago I talke...
Why Do You Get Up Each Morning?
Jul 02, 2019
Umm, because I have to?
Sadly, this is probably true for most of us. Take a moment to consider the implications. It means we’d choose to stay in bed all day rather than getting out into world. Now, I don’t think most people really believe this, just the fact that it's our default reaction is cause for concern. We identify more with a sense of obligation than a sense of significance or purpose. Not only is this heartbreaking, it’s killing us.
If you’ve been with me for a while, you know the Blue Zones are five locations where people live longer, healthier lives than anyplace else on the planet. One of the common themes across the blue zones is the elderly have a strong sense of purpose and meaning in their lives. In Okinawa, they call this ikigai. In Costa Rica, it’s plan de vida. Regardless of what you call it, the effects are the same. Studies have shown that people who have a clear goal in life live longer and sharper than those who do not. (p. 282).
Does yo...
You Have to Stick the Landing
Jun 25, 2019
It’s easy to give our full effort and attention to the big things, but it’s the little things that make all the difference.
In gymnastics, the concept of ‘virtuosity’ measures the degree of artistry, or harmony, of the athlete’s movements. Greg Glassman, founder of CrossFit, describes virtuosity as ‘doing common things uncommonly well.’
Virtuosity is attractive. When we see it, we can’t help but be drawn to it. I developed a deep appreciation for virtuosity by watching, of all things, a reality show. So You Think You Can Dance.
The early episodes of each new season featured a range of talent, from the comically bad to breathtakingly beautiful. For me, the best part of the show was comparing the dancers who were in the elite category and the ones who fell just a bit short. What made the difference?
Keep in mind, the people who came up just short are really, really good dancers. Most likely, they are better than anyone that you’ve ever met. If you saw on...
What's Your Superpower?
Jun 18, 2019
I often ask my clients this question. More often than not, I’m met with blank stares. Most people don’t ever think of themselves as having a superpower. Maybe the very idea violates some deep sense of humility. People don’t want to see themselves as unique or special. Isn’t that interesting? Deep down, don’t we all believe that we’re unique and special?
Maybe people’s hesitation to name their superpower is an allergy to being “better than”. Superman was, faster than the speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Heck, his very name was explicitly superior. I hate that guy. Just kidding.
I appreciate the resistance to naming your personal superpower. At the same time, I think there is tremendous value in doing it. I think there is tremendous value in even considering the question…what is my superpower? I mean really thinking about it. In the video portion I’ll explore some of the reasons why I think discovering your superpower is important. For now, le...
Will They Remember Your Name?
May 14, 2019
“That’s why nobody will remember your name.”
These are the words that Achilles spoke to a young boy right before going into battle. (Troy). The boy had just told Achilles that he’d be fighting a giant that he (the boy) wouldn’t want to fight such a man. Achilles had ambition.
Ambition is at the heart of every substantial achievement. Without the fuel of ambition, the engines of change won’t move. Without ambition, we’re left to accept things as they are. When things are good, we hope they’ll stay that way. They won’t. When things are bad, we passively hope they will get better rather than doing something about the situation. They won't.
Without ambition, we have apathy.
But what is ambition, exactly?
I want to offer you two metaphors for thinking about ambition. The first one represents ambition at its best. The second one represents the shadow side of ambition. Yea, pretty much everything has a shadow.
Ambition as a Bridge
Ambition ari...
Book Review - Strategy and the Fat Smoker; Doing What's Obvious But Not Easy
Mar 19, 2019
Length: 275 Pages
Life Design Applications: Personal Growth, Work, Leadership
Recommendation: Not for Most People
Three Sentence Summary: Although we usually know what to do and why we should do it, most businesses and individuals fail to do what’s good for them. The primary reason is because the ultimate rewards and benefits are in the future, but the discomfort and discipline needed to make progress are immediate. By intentional implementing supportive structures and systems, we can reliably overcome our short-term temptations and act in our best long-term interest.
Who This Book is For: This book is best suited for leaders or change agents within an organization struggling with culture, communication, or employee engagement issues. The ideal reader will have a strong appetite for challenging the status quo within an organization and a skepticism towards traditional, hierarchical thinking. If you are seeking to improve organizational performance by tapping ...
The Problem with Balance
Feb 22, 2019
The phrase work-life balance has been around for a long, long time. I’ve always struggled with this phrase for a few reasons. For me, the boundary between work and life feels arbitrary and unhelpful. If you think of work and life as separate and distinct, it is inevitable to experience tension between them. At the same time, I appreciate that work and life have a meaningful distinction for most people, so we’ll come back to this topic some other day.
For now, let’s focus on this idea of ‘balance’. Dictionary.com offers two definitions:
- An even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady
- A condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions.
There are things about these definitions that I like and things that I don’t, as they apply to Life Design. I like the idea of keeping something ‘upright and steady’, as a metaphor for our Life Design. Upright and steady feels like something we should aspire towards. M...
Life Design Jumpstart Kit
Get it NowSign Up for Intentional Tuesdays
Categories
All Categories