Are You Struggling Or Are You Stuck?

Are you struggling or are you stuck? What’s the difference? There is one and it’s a big one. It’s the dating equivalent of “call me tonight” and “yea, sure, call me sometime.” You definitely don’t want to get the signals mixed up.

Let’s get into it.

Last week’s Intentional Tuesday discussed the idea that “negative” emotions, such as sadness and fear, are something we should embrace, not something we should avoid. Since uncomfortable feelings are just the inevitable byproduct of being a human, if we could all get more skillful at working with these types of feelings, the world would be a better place.

This begs a question…

What about the feeling of being “stuck”, which I talk about quite a bit around here. Isn’t that just another feeling that we should embrace as part of the natural ebbs and flows of life? Yes, and no. 

There’s nothing wrong with the feeling of being “stuck”. Not inherently. The feeling is a signal. All feelings are signals. Stuckness is a feeling that something isn’t quite right with your world. As a feeling, stuck is fine. However, this particular label, “stuck” carries some baggage.

To me, the word “stuck” implies that you find yourself in a situation that you don’t care for and you can’t seem to do anything about it. You feel trapped. Maybe you feel frustrated. You feel powerless. These are not good things. Let’s face it. Stuck sucks. 

One could argue that we all experience the feeling of being stuck from time to time. It’s a natural part of life. Shouldn’t we embrace being stuck as perfectly wonderful? In fact, don’t we need to be stuck from time to time in order to grow? Isn’t stuck necessary? Again, yes and no.

Instead of “stuck”, I’d like to offer a different word, that I think gets to the heart of the question. That word is “struggle.” Now, “struggle” often has negative connotations as well, but I believe there are times when struggle is beautiful. Struggle is necessary.

I few months back I wrote about the concept of “mastery” and talked about the crucial role that struggle plays in achieving mastery, of anything. Whenever we learn something new, something significant, we struggle. True learning requires going backwards for a time, so that we can inevitably move forward. During the early stages of learning, we struggle. The struggle is necessary. The struggle is beautiful. We should strive to struggle from time to time.

How do we tell the difference between being stuck and being in a struggle? This is a question that only you can answer, but you can always answer, if you are true to yourself. Answering this question requires total honesty.

There are some questions you can ask yourself to help shed some light on the situation. First, notice that “stuck” is an adjective. It describes a state of being. “Struggle” is a verb. It describes action. Are you in action? Are you engaged in skillful action? If not, then you’re stuck.

Struggle is something that we choose. We may not enjoy the struggle, particularly during the moment, but we should be able to appreciate it. Stuck just sucks. There’s nothing to appreciate about being stuck.

But it is important to notice that stuck is also a choice. One that I don’t recommend.

Prosperous Journey,

-zog

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Announcement!!!

My new book, Never Too Late: Get Unstuck, Escape Mediocrity, and Design a Life You Love is nearly ready for release. My design team and I are just tweaking the cover art and warming up the presses. If you are interested in staying in the loop on the release, you can sign up for updates here. www.nevertoolatebook.com

I’ll be offering some special bonuses for people who are excited enough to (virtually) camp outside the store the night before.

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Photocredit: https://pixabay.com/users/qimono-1962238/

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