Intentional Tuesdays

Who's Story Are You Living?

growth relationships Jul 30, 2019

We each have our own story. Our own truth. It’s our story to write and ours to live. This is what it means to be "authentic". Sadly, most of us spend a significant portion of our time living someone else’s story.

Instead of being the true authors of our story, we allow the critics to influence us and we end up living their story. We become who the people around us want us to be. Their preferences and their expectations become the ink on our pages. At some point it ceases to be our story.

Why do we allow this to happen? Why would we ever surrender our authenticity?

We don't realize it's happening. We do it slowly. A little each day. On top of that, we actually get paid for it.

What do we get in exchange for our authenticity?

Certainty.

From an early age we learn to seek certainty. We long to...

Why You Need a Manifesto

growth purpose work Jul 23, 2019

You need to write a manifesto. In the next 250 words I want to convince you that you can, and should, write your personal manifesto.

I know, I know. Manifestos get a bad rap. Following in the footsteps of Karl Marx and Ted Kaczynski isn’t high on anyone’s list. But let me ask you this…who among us doesn’t feel just a little bit crazy?

Another knock on manifestos is they always seem to be really, really long. Hell, even Jerry Maguire’s, The Things We Think and Do Not Say, was 25 pages long. Who’s got that kind of time? Nobody. That’s why I’m proposing a much shorter structure. Exactly seven sentences. They don’t even need to be complete sentences or grammatically correct either. Boom.

Ok, but who wants all that attention? Does anyone really care what I have to say anyway? I don’t have anything worth sharing...

Don't Aspire to Excellence

growth work Jul 16, 2019

Excellence isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I spent a significant portion of my life in the pursuit of excellence and I wish I knew then what I know now. Excellence isn’t bad. But there’s something better.

I spent much of my early career in the pursuit of excellence. I was intensely focused on the quality of my work. If it wasn’t perfect, it better be really close and there’d better be a good reason it wasn’t. Results mattered. Nothing else.

That doesn't sound too bad, right? Like I said, excellence isn’t bad. It's just not perfect. Allow me to explain...

Back in the day, I used to play a lot of golf. It was a great way to unwind from the stress of the long hours I was spending in the office. I was a decent golfer. At my best, my handicap got down to about 13. I regularly broke 90 and...

Are You Hitting Your Mark?

creativity growth purpose work Jul 09, 2019

How do you measure your effectiveness and impact? If you are like most people, you focus exclusively on the end goal. After all, it’s all about results, right?

But what if your focus on the end objective is actually limiting your results?

Have you ever been bowling? Where is your attention just as you release the ball? Where are you aiming? Your answer to this question will reveal your skill as a bowler. Good bowlers don’t focus on the pins. Good bowlers focus on the aiming arrows on the floor just a few feet in front of them. If the bowler ‘hits their mark’ there’s a good chance the ball will hit the pins in the right spot.

Turns out, it’s easier to roll 10 feet perfectly than it is to roll 60 feet perfectly.

Now, back to the original point. Where is your focus in life? Are you simply aiming for the end result and hoping to roll the...

You Have to Stick the Landing

growth work Jun 25, 2019

It’s easy to give our full effort and attention to the big things, but it’s the little things that make all the difference.

In gymnastics, the concept of ‘virtuosity’ measures the degree of artistry, or harmony, of the athlete’s movements. Greg Glassman, founder of CrossFit, describes virtuosity as ‘doing common things uncommonly well.’

Virtuosity is attractive. When we see it, we can’t help but be drawn to it. I developed a deep appreciation for virtuosity by watching, of all things, a reality show. So You Think You Can Dance.

The early episodes of each new season featured a range of talent, from the comically bad to breathtakingly beautiful. For me, the best part of the show was comparing the dancers who were in the elite category and the ones who fell just a bit short. What made the difference?

Keep in mind, the people who...

What's Your Superpower?

growth work Jun 18, 2019

I often ask my clients this question. More often than not, I’m met with blank stares. Most people don’t ever think of themselves as having a superpower. Maybe the very idea violates some deep sense of humility. People don’t want to see themselves as unique or special. Isn’t that interesting? Deep down, don’t we all believe that we’re unique and special?

Maybe people’s hesitation to name their superpower is an allergy to being “better than”. Superman was, faster than the speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Heck, his very name was explicitly superior. I hate that guy. Just kidding.

I appreciate the resistance to naming your personal superpower. At the same time, I think there is tremendous value in doing it. I think there is tremendous value in even considering the question…what is my superpower? I mean...

Do You Need an Alter Ego?

fun growth Jun 11, 2019

Do you wish that you had an alter ego? A version of yourself that is separate and distinct that would allow you to act completely differently than your normal persona? Superman needed Clark Kent, right? And he's not the only one.

Beyoncé has stated publicly that her sensual, aggressive style on stage is actually her alter ego, Sasha Fierce. In "real life", she is nothing like that. According to Todd Herman, author of The Alter Ego Effect, even Martin Luther King Jr. only wore glasses so that he would appear more distinguished. Did Martin Luther King Jr have an alter ego?

One of the most common suggestions for writers is to develop rituals that are only used for writing so as to put you into your “writer’s mind”. I have to admit, ever since I bought my Apple MacBook, I feel more creative. In fact, there is evidence to show that not only do I feel more creative, I AM more...

Talk To Your Highest Self

growth Jun 04, 2019

I once heard the definition of Hell is meeting the version of yourself that you could have been, had you lived up to your full potential. Can you imagine, having all of your bad decisions and missed opportunities right there, staring you in the face? How depressing would that be?

What if you could meet that version of yourself now? Before it’s too late to do anything about it. Maybe you can.

This version of you has a name. The Greeks called it Daimon. It turns out you’ve met your Daimon. For sure you've heard her voice. It probably came in the form of a whisper. A whisper of potential and possibility, almost imperceptible, yet there.

When does your Daimon usually weigh in? Here are a few of the more common situations where you'll hear Daimon’s voice:

When choosing between doing what is easy and doing what is right.
When deciding to forgo...

What's the Sound of Possibility?

growth May 28, 2019

That’s impossible. It will never work. You’ll lose everything. You can’t do that. Don’t try.

We’ve all heard this voice in our head. Where does it come from? If you were with me last week you know. It’s the voice of your Protector. She’s just doing her thing.

You might be tempted to think it’s the voice of logic and reason. You’d be wrong. Here’s how you can tell. Your voice of logic and reason doesn’t speak in absolutes. Your voice of logic and reason is all about nuance. She’s all about hedging her bets. When she thinks something is a bad idea, she says things like…”the odds of success are pretty low and the risk might not be worth the reward here.” Your voice of logic and reason leaves it up to you to make the final decision.

The Protector doesn’t use wishy-washy...

Why We Avoid Breakthrough Moments

growth May 21, 2019

As as leadership and life design coach, I’ve had the privilege of witnessing many breakthroughs in the lives of my clients. We usually think of epiphanies as positive moments, filled with elation and joy. We imagine a flood of relief and peace that comes from our sudden realization. In my experience, these things are part of the breakthrough-story, but they are just the prologue to the real story.

The moments immediately following a breakthrough are scary.

Why scary? Although the breakthrough moment reveals a path, it's usually dark and fraught with danger. Although the idea of reaching the end of the path is appealing, the idea of taking the path is anything but. It feels impossible. Now you're stuck.

Part of you knows if you don’t follow that path that you will feel incomplete. Part of you knows that if you follow the path, something bad could happen. Something...

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