How much time do you spend thinking about violence. I’m talking about violence at a personal level. Something that involves you or your immediate family. Something close to home.

If you are like most people, the answer is ‘none’. Most of us don't like to think about violence because it makes us feel uncomfortable. I'll be exploring this anti-motivation more in the video portion. For now, let's stay on the topic of violence...

Ironically, we make decisions every single day where our own lives and the lives of our loved ones are at stake. Will the employee that I need to fire react violently? Will the neighbor snap when I approach him about his loud music and poor parking habits? How should I handle the person who refuses to accept that we’re no longer together? Will this babysitter harm my child? What about my child’s friends? Might one of them be dangerous.

Most people would rather avoid these questions than endure the discomfort of having to ask and answer them. 

Unfortunately, avoiding the thing that makes us uncomfortable doesn’t make us any safer. In fact, it likely increases the risk of the very thing we want to avoid most…becoming the victim of a violent crime.

What if I told you the single most potently impactful thing you can do to make you and your family safer is to read a book? Would you read it? It is. You should. You should read this book and you should demand that everyone who matters to you read it. This book should be required reading in every high school.

It’s called, the Gift of Fear, by David de Becker.

The premise of the book is that our bodies are incredibly good at noticing potential danger and letting us know. The problem is, our brains override the warning signals and prevent us from taking action that could keep us safe. Imagine waking up in the middle of the night to discover the bedroom filled with smoke and instead of getting out of the house, walking over to the window, opening it, and then heading back to bed. This is what most of us do, most of the time, when confronted with potentially dangerous situations.

Can we really make ourselves safer by reading a book? Absolutely.

The book walks us through some of the most common ‘strategies’ employed by predators to get us to drop our guard. Once recognized, these can serve as warning signals to a potentially dangerous situation. They include:

• Forced Teaming - A technique predators use to establish trust by suggesting a common predicament they share with their potential victim.
• Charm and Niceness - These sound like good qualities, right? Being good is a good quality. Being charming is a strategy.
• Too Many Details - When people are telling the truth, they don’t feel doubted, so they don’t feel the need to convince you. People who are lying will talk until they sound credible to themselves.
• Typecasting - The would-be predator relies on our political correctness and unwillingness to offend someone, even a stranger, by forcing their victim to defend their own character so as to avoid guilt. (ex. "You won’t get in the elevator with me because I’m black.”)
• Loan Sharking - The predator provides assistance so the victim feels the indebted and is willing to reciprocate.
• The Unsolicited Promise - Flimsy attempts to convince us that something isn’t really a problem.
• Discounting the word “No” - If you make an attempt to put space between yourself and a predator and you meet resistance, it’s a problem. They are seeking to control you.

These are just a few of the signals that De Becker teaches us in this remarkable book. I truly believe that simply raising your awareness to these signals is incredibly useful and infinitely better than not.

At the heart of this book is the message that we need to trust our intuition. As GDB says, “Our intuition is always a response to something and it always has your best interest at heart.” Of course, nothing is quite that simple. We are notoriously bad at interpreting our intuition and the book explains why and helps us to overcome this challenge.

Will this book make you safe? No. No book can do that. Nothing can make you completely safe. What does ’safe’ even mean if you have to live your life in a constant state of fear and paranoia. That’s not what we’re talking about here.

There is no question this book will make you safer. There is no question in my mind it is the simplest, most efficient, most cost-effective investment you can make towards that end.

You should buy this book right now. Read it. Then buy it for three people that you love and demand they read it.

If you find yourself resisting this idea, it probably means you need this book more than most. Don’t shut me down just yet! In the video portion I’ll be examining some of the ways that people resist taking simple steps to help ensure their personal safety. Check this out first, and then decide if the book is right for you.

Prosperous Journey,

-zog

PS: Here’s the book. 

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